Practical Helps For Helping Those With The Gift Of Exhortation (Romans 12:6-8 Gifts of the Spirit series part 4)

On Wednesday nights at Lewis Avenue I have been teaching on the spiritual gifts. All believers have been given a spiritual gift by their heavenly Father at the moment of salvation. Over the next few weeks, though I will not be posting all the notes that I have been teaching, I will be posting some helps that I have been giving out at the conclusion of each gift. These are designed to help you if you are, are married to, or have children that are that particular gift. I guess you could call these the weekly take-aways. As I have provided many supporting Scriptures for the points during the actual message, these thoughts are just practical tips and advice based on the notes. I trust they will help.

First, a brief overview of the gift.

Exhorters are encouragers. They have an unusual sensitivity for and are attracted to those who are discouraged or struggling. They have a knack for one-on-one relationships, convincing them to believe in themselves. Exhorters can do this because they visualize the potential that other believers could achieve someday, and aren’t afraid to be wrong. Exhorters are never divisive people. Now…

If you have the gift of exhortation…

1. Realize that most people don’t see things the way you do, so don’t expect them to understand your actions or thought process as clearly as you do. Remember, seek first to understand, then to be understood.
2. Actually thank God that you have the gift that you have. It is God-given. Enjoy it.
3. Before you hire somebody, do your homework extra carefully. You may see potential in someone that others don’t see, but you also don’t want to find out all their problems after you’ve already hired them. Please get a second opinion on those you hire.
4. Instead of being irritated with the prophet for not giving someone a chance (Barnabas made at Paul for not giving Mark a chance), realize the prophet is giving you clarity about that person that you might be lacking.
5. Be careful when you tell someone to say something to someone else. The person you’re counseling may not be able to say it like you (the exhorter) would, so they might not be as well received as you would be, saying the same thing to the same person.
6. Learn to plan ahead and be very detail oriented, because an exhorter is going to naturally have a “it will all work out; it’s going to be great!” attitude. As a result, they may not be dealing with reality and may not be as prepared as they thought they were. This will produce frustrated and nervous followers.
7. Because, as an exhorter, you probably have a positive outlook about situations, you need to value the counsel of others on staff who will tell you their perspective and even disagree with you. Encourage their independent thought. (Exhorters do encourage, don’t they?)
8. To safe guard you against believing in someone when you actually should have been more cautious, put some principles in place to follow that will keep you objective.
9. The more of a ministry you have around people, the more fulfilled you will feel.

If you are married to or have a child that is an “exhorter”…

1. Your child had better be very careful about whom they choose to marry. They do not want to make the mistake of marrying someone that appears better than they actually are because of your child’s predisposition to believe the best about people.
2. When your child notices something positive about somebody else, encourage them to let that other person know. Your child will find fulfillment when they encourage others.
3. When your child encounters a peer who is either very direct or abrupt (prophet-type), teach your child the value of this peer. “They don’t approach things like you would, but they usually have very good insight. We should value their thoughts.”
4. When your child encounters a peer with a negative disposition (remember, your child will tend to be positive), teach your child a) the difference between a negative disposition and a positive disposition, b) what to say to turn the conversation or comment to a positive direction and c) why they find fulfillment in being positive.
5. As you notice your child (or spouse) wanting to give someone the benefit of the doubt or a second chance, often they will be wrong which will cause them to second guess themselves. Don’t you let them give up on people just because they were wrong this time. It’s not simply a part of what they do, it’s a part of who they are.
6. Teach your child to be firm in taking a stand, as they will strongly desire to get along with people as they get older, and you will not want them to compromise to do so.
7. Avoid the temptation to make your exhorting spouse prove every positive thing they believe about people, but it is wise to ask them to give you concrete reasons about why a person or a situation merits the confidence they have. If their bottom line answer comes down to the fact that they are taking a chance on someone, don’t get upset with them; rather enjoy the fact that you have a spouse that believes in people. What a wonderful trait. They will view you and your children the same way. That has the makings of a happy family.
8. Exhorters tend to be positive, well-liked children that like to act and like to good-naturedly tease.
9. You will no doubt enjoy your exhorting child as they are always looking for ways to make tasks easier.
10. Although your child will adjust to new situations easily, they will be tend to be slow to understand new concepts, e.g., equations. This is probably because they have a pre-disposition to try to figure out ways to make tasks easier and may not want to take the time do it the longer or harder way.